So, I'm watching Half Baked on BET, baked out of my tree, when on comes the latest Snuggie Commercial. This was the only video I could find of it. If you haven't seen it already, you probably shouldn't click it. If you have, you may want to click it again to recall some kind of weird masochistic tendency you developed the first time you watched it. Apparently, since I'm watching BET, they air a different commercial. It's not the honky fest that you see on TV Guide or the Home Shopping network. No, apparently the Snuggie people decided that their advertisement was going to be hip and, as they say, "with it." They were about as on point as a Merle Haggart concert at a Shriner's convention. They dance in the video. Not trying to give anything away, just warning you. Their coreographer, apparently, had never gotten past the "white man's overbite" school of dancing.
Forgive me, I'm very fucking high and salivating thanks to some Pillsbury ads displaying the rising properties of Pillsbury biscuits versus other brands (which proved vastly superior to the store-brand).
The video is at once arrestingly pathetic in the sense that you think "Awww... They're trying so hard to be with it!" as you watch it, but it also you strikes you on the level of, "Wow, that's kinda racist!" Kind of in the way that Driving Miss Daisy was kinda condescending and antiquated, these people are raising their arms to some horrific infernal fusion of house and honky hip-hop while wearing their Snuggie everywhere - any activity a human being can do, they are there with their snuggies on. At the movies, walking the dog, watching TV, while cooking, while attending rallies - wait. Rallies? Yes. Fucking Rallies. There is a snippet in the video with at group of at least 50 people, on bleachers, attempting to "raise the roof" while that awful music plays and the voice over guy tells you that they're now available for your dog, and it is horrifyingly similar to some odd white power meeting/jousting competition. You must see it for yourself.
The next ad up was muted as a reflex action as soon as I shook myself out of my scorch-brained stupor. It featured some older black ladies that reminded me a lot of being in New Orleans after Katrina, so I thought it might be an ad for one of those mobile doctors offices that people are volunteering around the country since it's so fucked that nobody has health care in this country. So I unmute it thinking, "Oh, that's nice," then I lied to myself about how I'd totes donate if I had any money. It had a logo at the bottom advertising CareOne, reinforcing my theory that it was a mobile medical center. Nope. They were a credit card debt management company. "Help" comes in many forms, I guess.
Next was Avon, to round out the triumvirate with a nice racist Ponzi scheme designed to keep black people broke. The whole thing was pretty alienating. Also, they dubbed Dave Chappelle's voice with like three different people doing their best imitations. Sub-par, BET editors.
Then again, they also aired some Pillsbury doughboy commercials that made me very hungry.
FOR THE BRAVE:
2 comments:
sucked adds. nice observations, i like the way u express!
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