BUSTER'S GUIDE TO PHARMACEUTICALS

SO AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW, I'VE BEEN ON SOME MEDICATIONS FOR MY "MENTAL HEALTH." I'm not going to tell you which ones, you nosey fuckers, but if you feel as stagnant as I do occasionally, here's what you need to know, in ascending order of narcotic goodness. Also, at the end we can reach the Valentine's Day Conclusion begun yesterday!

THE MEDICATIONS

These are the fellows that you take to feel better generally. They're medications, not drugs, so you have to take them for about two weeks before you start feeling the effects.

1. Abilify - This is a mood-stabilizer. I used to have rage issues (see Christian Bale for some insight), so I started taking this and got a lot more zen. I was initially prescribed too high a dose so I turned into a Zombie and started having memory problems, but on a lower dose and in conjunction with meditation, I started feeling a lot better. Now I don't even have to take them! Tell your doctor you have rage issues and these will be yours.
   
2. Lexapro - My Main Man. Very stable and calming, I took these for generalized anxiety and depression, and I still take them. They're pretty good, just elevate your mental state to one where you're not constantly thinking about hypochondriacal symptoms like Ebola, AIDS, and the black plague.
   
3. Wellbutrin - I don't have too much experience with this one, but from what it sounds like, it's a kid version of Abilify. It's an antidepressant, and also takes a while to get going. Mellow, but not really noticable in the dosages I was taking.

THE REAL SHIT

1. Klonopin - The baby Vicodin. Vicodin's a little dated, so this is a nice alternative that comes on fast but leaves just as quick. I took 14mg of these yesterday over the course of two hours and all I felt was a little buzz. Happy, if you will. I churned out like two and a half pages on my screenplay and life was groovy.
2. Xanax - My favorite. As I've stated before, this is the bliss pill. But it's also very dangerous. I completely forgot that I watched "Balls Of Fury" the night before, despite my dad asking me questions about it. He looked at me like I was crazy. It was also responsible for my DUI and the destruction of my laptop. But when you take it on your own, in your room, with some amazing music and the iTunes visualizer going, then you will attain nirvana.

Above all, please be careful with these meds. They can make you feel great, but they can make you feel awful and descend into madness and black out. So use caution.

In other news, I've decided to go off my anti-anxiety medication and replace it with pages for my screenplay (which will rock your socks off; it's epic). I'm like 18 pages in, and I'm writing diaries for my characters, working on my resume and generally, and genuinely deciding to be a more proactive person. Fuck this lazy shit. I'm getting my ass a job, even if I have to sacrifice my dignity, but it'll be worth it. I'll be able to pursue my actual passions - writing, singing, acting, directing, painting, trying new foods, cooking traveling, enjoying life and absorbing every goddamned thing out there. I'm feeling good this morning, and you should, too. You have control. Find your passion, make shit happen. It's not easy, but the rewards are unquantifiable.

Hope you're all well,
--B

P.S. OH YES! THE GIRL! I reflected on it today, and I've decided candidate number three is the best call. Either way, I win. I value her friendship the most, and what's a relationship without friendship? Also, she had the balls to kick me out after I put the moves on her out of loyalty to her midlife crisis having boyfriend, so points for that. And she's probably the raddest girl I've ever met. She's not without her negative points, but she's amazing and I genuinely want to be her friend. If something romantic evolves out of that, then fantastic, but I'd rather have a lifetime of adventures with her than a couple random hookups. Thanks for the feedback Cristina, Bella, and Toni. Candidate 3, if you read this, you've won my Valentine's Day letter.

Today is going to be a better day than I thought.